Cartoon of the Day: No 9 in series.

Please note there will be no blogging on Christmas Day.

A very Happy Christmas to all of my readers!

Cartoon of the Day: No 8 in series.

Cartoon of the Day: No 7 in series.

Cartoon of the Day: No 6 in series.

Communist anarcho-rock band Rage Against The Machine have beaten X Factor winner Joe McElderry to the Christmas number one, selling half a million records in just one week after a hate and envy filled online campaign.

Cranmer on his blog criticises modern pop, reality talent show television, and the absense of Christian message in Christmas chart toppers whilst also finding some integrity in Rage Against The Machine’s victory.

Their ’song’ may be truly awful, but its beauty lies in the rebellion; its authenticity in the protestant spirit; its integrity in the little man conquering the Goliath that is the modern music machine.

Cranmer would like to make it clear that he has absolutely nothing against Mr McElderry (or Mr Cowell), and would like to say that the X-Factor winner has an undoubted Christmassy voice which is infinitely preferable to the din of Rage Against The Machine. And His Grace is loath to deprive either Mr McElderry or Mr Cowell of a Christmas present.

But this is people-power: the rough and raw laity versus the slick high priest of the dark arts of music promotion.

I can’t however agree, seeing only a depressing continuation and rise of envy fuelled hate in this country, a rise which seems connected in part to the recession.

We saw it with Susan Boyle, who became a victim of hate – again particularly on the internet – seemingly for having the sheer audacity to have become successful. America has treat her better.

Now we see it with this campaign, in which half a million people have had the will to shell out money for a song they didn’t want, simply in the hope it would out sell its main rival, whom they obviously hate. And why do they hate the X Factor, Simon Cowell and by extension Joe McElderry? Because they have been successful? America will also I expect treat them better.

As I wrote before, dreaming a dream in Britain is a risky business.

But what of the campaign, allegedly grassroots and democratic? Both acts are signed by Sony BMG, and I wouldn’t be surprised if so called “astro-turfing” – the creation of fake “grassroots” support online as a means of establishing momentum – were responsible. After all, we’ve never seen the person who started this campaign – and someone surely would have claimed such a role – but we have seen an awful lot of the band…

A Christmas Card which won’t be in use at the National Institute of Clinical Excellence, the Scrooge’s of the NHS who value life at £30,000 a year.

Feel free to use on your own blogs but please link back in a prominent way to www.davidbreaker.com

See also Seasons Greetings from the Department of Energy and Climate Change.

If you have your own seasonal Photoshop masterpiece or an idea for one please get in touch. I might even stretch to a prize for the best one…

More tomorrow…

A Christmas Card which won’t be in use at the Department of Energy and Climate Change…

Feel free to use on your own blogs but please link back in a prominent way to www.davidbreaker.com

If you have your own seasonal Photoshop masterpiece or an idea for one please get in touch. I might even stretch to a prize for the best one…
More tomorrow…

I’m not an advocate of censorship, but I do believe in two important caveats.

The first is that there is a time and a place. Whilst I do not support laws against ’speech crimes’, responsible adults should respect others and know when certain language or behaviour is not appropriate. Genuine libertarians should accept this, focus on defending political free speech, and preserve the good name of libertarianism and honour of free speech from radical nutters who want every other word to be an expletive. As they say in America, enjoy freedom responsibly.

The second is that contractual obligations are kept. If you enter a building or take a job or make an agreement you are accepting the rules that are set by the owner, boss or deal maker. If you don’t like it, don’t do it, no one is forcing you; buy your own building, start your own business, find another deal. Just as people who don’t like a film or book should switch channel etc, so can you.

This leads me back to Rage Against The Machine and their chart battle with Joe McElderry of X Factor, started by an envious hate campaign.

Speaking on BBC 5 Live this morning, Rage Against The Machine [RATM] frontman Zack De La Rocha said: “Simon…seems to have profited greatly off humiliating people on live television and has a unique position of capturing the attention of people on television, but also the airwaves. We see this campaign as a necessary break of that control.”

Like most celebrities trying to make a political point, words of which they have no real knowledge are bandied around like confetti at a wedding because they think it makes them seem smart. After “profiting” and “control” it gets worse, as the Rage Against The Machine crew aim for a full house in anarcho-socialist bingo. [The band use Soviet, socialist and communist imagery almost exclusively].

Guitarist Tom Morello added: “People are tired of being spoon fed one schmaltzy ballad after another. They want to take back their own charts. We’re honoured they’ve chosen our song to be the rebel anthem to topple The X Factor monopoly.”

“Take back”, “rebel”, “topple”, “monopoly”…still lacking “exploit”, “commercialised” and “dictatorship”. But then they didn’t get chance. The band then performed the song – including the repeated lyric “f*** you I won’t do what you tell me” – leading to the station cutting them off air.

Presenter Nicky Campbell had asked them to perform a clean “radio edit”, it is after all a BBC breakfast show. They childishly broke the agreement, and the BBC were right to pull the plug on them.

After pulling the plug on the fourth repetition of the lyric, co-host Shelagh Fogarty said: “Sorry, we needed to get rid of that because that suddenly turned into something we weren’t expecting. Well, we were expecting it and we asked them not to do it and they did it anyway.”

“So buy Joe’s record!”

A BBC spokesman later added: “Five live Breakfast featured a live broadcast of the song Killing In the Name by Rage Against the Machine. We had spoken to the band repeatedly beforehand and they had agreed not to swear.”

Last week I featured SNP leader Alex Salmond’s Christmas card, but now the main party leaders have released their own festive offerings. So here is the real battle, where “even the most innocuous image is likely to be subject to an instant psychobabble analysis“. All three leaders have opted to avoid religious references.

ALEX SALMOND – “Feeling Lonely”, “Out in the Cold”, “What Happened To Global Warming?”, or “Look At My Big Flag!”

OFFICIAL LINE: A picture entitled “A New Journey”, which shows a young girl carrying a Saltire flag, looking over a wintry landscape.

TOP QUOTE: Opposition MSPs have accused Mr Salmond of politicising Christmas by using the Saltire in his card. Scottish Conservative chief whip David McLetchie said Mr Salmond’s obsession with independence was “blinding him to reality”. He said: “For the overwhelming majority of Scots, Alex Salmond’s so-called ‘journey to independence’ is a road to nowhere.”

MY VERDICT: Cold, very cold. Over politicised. No mention of Christmas. No Christmas imagery. The girl looks poor, downtrodden and lonely, is this symbolic of Scotland outside the UK? Proceeds from the sale of the canvas, which is the work of Scottish artist Gerard Burns, will be shared among four charities, which is nice, assuming someone buys it.

SCORE: Eleven pipers piping, but they’re from the British Army, so they’re not here for you Alex. One point for the charity element, 1/12.

* * * * * * *

GORDON BROWN – “Hanging by a Thread”

OFFICIAL LINE: Photograph was taken by Jordan Mary, 19, winner of the CIWEM Young Environmental Photographer of the Year

TOP QUOTE: To those lacking in Christmas spirit, however, the image might suggest an exit door, hanging perilously in a prickly and poisonous environment. “There are no people, no human contact — that’s the first thing that strikes me,” said Ronald Bracey, a consultant clinical psychologist who specialises in media strategy. “It seems to exist as a stand-alone object, with an almost nostalgic air, as if reminiscing over what used to be rather than looking forward. And it is very, very small.”

MY VERDICT: Beautiful image (full marks to the young photographer) but surely it’s never wise in politics to be involved with anything greatly diminished and hanging by a thread in a cold, frosty environment, populated only by prickly and poisonous things, all of which will be gone in the New Year?

SCORE: A partridge in a pear tree, 1/12.

* * * * * * *

DAVID CAMERON – “Through the Tree Shaped Window”

OFFICIAL LINE: Symbol of power in Westminster seen through clever graphical design official party logo

TOP QUOTE: The potent political symbol of Big Ben is snared neatly within the branches of the party logo. But, depending on your political affiliations, the snow-coated spires of Westminster either loom straight ahead, bang on target, or remain a frustratingly distant prospect. “It looks as if snow has been cleared from a car windscreen, to reveal political power right around the corner,” said Mr Bracey. “It is quite clinical, cold and calculating.”

VERDICT: A bit boring and not very nice to look at, the use of the party logo in such a serious way makes it look too corporate and impersonal. Reminds me of 1970s pre-school TV show “Play School” and it’s “Through the [Shape] Window” segment.

SCORE: Seven swans a’ swimming towards power, 7/12.

* * * * * * *

NICK CLEGG – “The Kids Are Alright”

OFFICIAL LINE: Drawing by the Clegg kids

TOP QUOTE: Nick Clegg’s card, drawn by his sons Antonio, 8, and Alberto, 5, is so touchy-feely and brimming with yuletide innocence that one worries it might be delivered with a free hug from the Liberal Democrat leader himself. Is the man in the red suit Uncle Vince? “It is very sweet,” mused Mr Bracey. “It’s not conveying any political messages and is just simple and naive.”

MY VERDICT: I don’t like cards made from children’s drawings, but it’s better than a Blair style family portrait I guess, and I can’t be mean to kids as they’re obviously happy it’s been used. Points for mentioning Christmas.

SCORE: Eight maids a’ milking the system, I presume to dunk HobNob biscuits, 8/12.

* * * * * * *

BORIS JOHNSON – “Have a Cool Christmas and a Stylish New Year”

OFFICIAL LINE: Designed by a 15-year-old east London schoolboy, Rahad Hussain

TOP QUOTE: “The colourful sketch of camels trekking through dunes in the heart of the city, bringing tidings of goodwill from Boris Johnson, the Mayor of London. Hint of multiculturism? Check. Cartoonish style to evoke Bojo’s own public image? Check. One of three wise men attempting to hail an unlicensed minicab? You decide.

MY VERDICT: Winner by a country [should that be Square] Mile. The Three Wise Men and Star, a religious scene, yet in a “not being rammed down your throat” way, with a very stylish and cheery colourful design, which also features some of London’s great architecture. Very representative of the sender and location. Bonus points for mentioning Christmas (a Boris Bonus?).

SCORE: Ten lords a’ leaping for joy, 10/12.

* * * * * * *

(Note that The Guardian article links to The Times but does so directly to the image rather than the article featuring the image, so a casual viewer wouldn’t even notice, and wouldn’t get distracted either. No wonder Murdoch wants a paywall!)

Rage Against The Machine have widened the gap over X Factor winner Joe McElderry in the battle for the Christmas No 1, according to UKPA. The RATM record, which has been the subject of an internet campaign to “ruin Simon Cowell’s Christmas£ has buildt up an impressive lead of more than 60,000 sales.

The release, seen as an anti-X Factor protest vote by music fans, edged ahead of the show’s winner yesterday – and new figures show the lead is growing. Surprise contenders RATM today praised the internet campaign which has driven their sales and declared: “Let the people decide.”… RATM’s guitarist Tom Morello told BBC 6 Music the campaign was “a little dose of anarchy”, but was not aimed at Joe or even Simon Cowell.

However I would contend that last comment. This isn’t Rage Against The Machine, it’s Envy and hatred, much like that which was directed at Susan Boyle. And as my evidence, these sample comments from iTunes.

“X Factor continues to pollute music. Why do we have to put up with this endless stream of X Factor cheesy commercialised cheap covers being no1 every year?”

“Rage Against The Machine. Not another X Factor Christmas dictated chart please.”

“Absolute Rubbish! This person cannot sing to save his life, if you want a decent song buy Killing in the Name by Rage Against The Machine.”

Now you may or may not like Joe McElderry and Simon Cowell, that’s your choice, but buying Rage Against The Machine to deny them a #1 is just plain stupid. Even if you are an envy-fuelled person who hates to see a youngster achieve something, they’ll still sell as many records and make as much money, who cares about charts?

I couldn’t put it better than Fraser McAlpine, who links the campaigners dislike of the people behind the X Factor song but also those that buy it.

“It strikes me that there is a nasty streak of snobbery to the Rage Against The Machine campaign, because essentially the people behind it not only don’t approve of the song the X Factor has made – before they have even heard it, which is always lovely – but they don’t like the people who DO like it. They think these people are easily-led. They may use words like ’sheep’ or ‘masses’ or ‘plebs’ or ‘chavs’, and they believe themselves to be above such obvious mind-control.”

But who started this campaign? I wouldn’t be at all surprised if this campaign has links to the band or label, who are certainly encouraging it, after all who started it and picked Rage Against The Machine? Wouldn’t it be funny if those envy filled music snobs that brand Joe’s fans as sheep turned out to be, errr, sheep….